Hellmouth Day Outtakes
by mmooch
Summary: **Companion story to 'Hellmouth Day'** Just like we found out in the movie 'Groundhog Day' and the SG-1 episode 'Window of Opportunity', a person can only take continuous loops so long before they go loopy themselves. Open to all authors!
1. Die, Kennedy, Die!

**Hellmouth Day - Outtakes**

Summary: **Companion story to _'Hellmouth Day'_** Just like we found out in the movie 'Groundhog Day' and the SG-1 episode 'Window of Opportunity', a person can only take continuous loops so long before they go loopy themselves. Open to all authors!

Challenge: so we can have some humorous loops as well – or really dark if that's your choice. They don't have to lead into another loop either; this one doesn't.

Timeline: any of the later loops in 'Hellmouth Day' (guessing at least past the 50th one).

A/N: this one is for Gideon (and any others who w-i-s-h-ed for this one to happen).

Thanks to my betas: none.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

* * *

><p><strong>Sunnydale cemetery<strong>

Buffy was starting to think that the time loops she suffered through the previous year were not that bad compared to D'Hoffryn's. She lost count after about the 25th or so, and that was awhile back.

What was her current idea again?

A derisive snort from her left reminded her. She was attempting to befriend and train the Slayers on a one-to-one basis by taking them out on patrol with her. Unfortunately, tonight was Kennedy's turn. The whole frigging night was one complaint after another.

'_Why did Buffy get the axe?'_

'_Why can't they split up?'_

'_Why couldn't Willow come along too?'_

And on and on….

As luck would have it, they ended up getting jumped by some demons who hadn't cleared out of Sunnydale just yet. Buffy was fighting a couple Polgara demons while Kennedy was fighting a vampire.

Then Buffy saw a familiar 'face' lumbering out of the shadows. "Kennedy! That's a Fyarl demon; you need to stab it in the heart with your silver dagger!"

"You're crazy!" Kennedy shot back. "I know my demons, and that's a Pargo demon*! You kill it with fire!"

Buffy considered going over to save the brat, but then she remembered that in all of the mutiny scenes where she was still alive, Kennedy was the cause of most of the animosity. Or she was at least the loud mouth who added gasoline to the fire. Would it be _sooo_ wrong of her to let the bitch die?

So she kept fighting the Polgara demons and left Kennedy to the Fyarl. By the time she was done and turned back to the other fight, Kennedy was covered in slime and the Fyarl demon was gone. A quick check told Buffy that the Potential was dead.

* * *

><p><strong>Summers home<strong>

Willow tried to blame Kennedy's death on Buffy, but even Giles admitted that if Kennedy refused to listen to her on what kind of demon it was, and Buffy was busy fighting other demons, there really wasn't anything Buffy could have done to save the girl.

The other Potentials learned a valuable lesson from that night: when somebody more experienced than you says something…listen to them!

* * *

><p><strong>Hellmouth seal<strong>

**Weeks later (crackfic part)…**

So far this loop was going better than all the rest. Faith and Buffy got the Scythe during their 'recon' to the vineyard, then used it to slice up Caleb. There were no signs of mutiny on the horizon.

But then it happened…a shared Slayer dream.

"We aren't going to tell the others about this, are we, B?" Faith asked as they continued their plan to seal the Hellmouth and stop the First's plans.

Buffy snorted, "Are you kidding? Even though we both had the same exact Slayer dream showing us what to do, _I_ still think this is insane!"

Chuckling to herself, Faith replied, "Yeah. I mean, I know you told me about those dreams you guys had after that one spell, but who knew the freak was actually trying to be helpful?"

Both girls were referring to a being known only as 'Cheese Man' to those who dreamed about him. In this case, he was standing on the seal to the Hellmouth, holding a container of melted Velveeta and saying _'Cheese covers all'_ as he poured it on the seal.

As much as they didn't want to consider that solution, the fact that they both dreamt about it – and that a local store was having a Velveeta promotion and therefore had a maze of Velveeta boxes in the building before everyone bugged out of Sunnydale – convinced them to at least try it.

While one of them was melting the cheese and covering the Hellmouth, the other would fight the Bringers who were trying to stop them. When the last box was melted and poured, the Bringers suddenly stopped in mid-swing. Those that weren't killed by Faith's sword turned their heads from side to side, as if trying to figure out what they should do next.

If that wasn't enough proof that the danger was over, by the weekend, all the residents who evacuated the town were back and getting settled in for their lives of denial. Apparently they all believed it was an evacuation drill, just in case there was a natural disaster which threatened the town.

And no matter how many times anyone asked, neither Faith nor Buffy would tell them how it was done.

* * *

><p>AN: *The Pargo demon is from _'Something Blue'_ and you kill it by drowning it…according to Anya.


	2. Just Gotta Vent Sometimes

**Just Gotta Vent Sometimes**

Challenge: so we can have some humorous loops as well – or really dark if that's your choice. **Open to all authors!** They don't have to lead into another loop either. They can also be crossovers if you so desire.

Timeline: any of the later loops in 'Hellmouth Day' (guessing at least past the 50th one).

Warning: This is an extremely frustrated Buffy who had tried many, many, many loops – all of which have ended with the others voting her out of leadership. She's going to be ANGRY and will swear a little.

A/N: a few people wanted to see Buffy vent, so this is for them. I'm taking things people said during the mutiny scene verbatim (the words _italicized_ and in script-form), and just added some 'directional' info to let you know what I thought they were feeling/thinking.

Thanks to my betas: none.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Dialogue from buffyworld. com.

* * *

><p><strong>D'Hoffryn's realm<strong>

"Just drop me in when Rona opens her yap about Spike, 'k?" Buffy demanded, not having a plan this time. After doing this for god knows how many loops, she just had a few things to get off her chest, even though it wouldn't really accomplish anything.

"Should I get some popcorn?" D'Hoffryn asked in amusement. He could tell she was at her snapping point and thought it should be entertaining to watch her blow up.

* * *

><p><strong>Summers house<strong>

_RONA: __You know what? I am sick of your deal with this Spike guy. This isn't about him. This is about you. You're being reckless._

"I'm being the Slayer, you whiny little brat!" Buffy snapped. "I want Spike around because until Faith got here, he's the only besides myself that can actually fight worth a damn."

_KENNEDY (wanting to get in Buffy's face)__: People are dying._

Without warning, Buffy pulled back and punched Kennedy right in the mouth. "Maybe that will get you to shut your hole. God, Willow…are you so desperate to get over Tara that you'd hook up with any lesbian, no matter how much of a bitch they are?"

_WILLOW (tending to her girlfriend's injuries): __I'm worried about your judgment._

Buffy started laughing hysterically. "Miss 'Tries to End the World to End Pain' is worried about _my_ judgment? Talk to me when you can use magick constructively again. Why did you even bother coming back to Sunnydale if all you were going to be was a burden? Go grow a flower or something."

_ANYA (being Anya): __You really do think you're better than we are. But we don't know. We don't know if you're actually better. I mean, you came into the world with certain advantages, sure. I mean, that's the legacy. But you didn't earn it. You didn't work for it. You've never had anybody come up to you and say you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you. So that doesn't make you better than us. It makes you luckier than us._

"I _do_ think I'm better than you, Anya. Xander left you at the altar and rather than deal with it like a real human being, you became a vengeance demon again. How many people did you kill away from Sunnydale before the frat house? But _luckier_ than you?" Buffy repeated with a scoff. "If anyone should understand what a Slayer's life is like, it's you; you've probably seen hundreds of them over your 1100+ years of killing and causing mayhem everywhere you went. Did they seem lucky to you? I'd think I'd earn a little loyalty from you, seeing as how I've saved you from D'Hoffryn's assassins. In fact, you should remember that I've gotten all of you this far, despite the overwhelming odds."

_XANDER (feeling bitter): __But not without a price. I'm trying to see your point here, Buff... but I guess it must be a little bit to my left... 'cause I just don't._

"Nice to learn the price of your loyalty, Xander. So apparently you don't mind if _I'm _the one who's hurt or dies; those things give me the right to expect respect from you. You seem to have some pretty clear ideas of how to be a Slayer…too bad the Powers didn't decide to consult the Almighty Xander Harris when they made me one, huh? Of course, you'd probably make it a requirement that all Slayers had to wear spandex and go out with you."

_GILES (interrupting to get things back on topic): __We are clearly demonstrating that we are not together on this!_

Turning to her ex-Watcher, Buffy replied bitingly, "And whose fault is that? You ever stop to think that if you hadn't walked out on me last year that so many things would be better right now? Forget the Council, didn't you have any sacred duty to _me_? If I can't stop being the Slayer, then you shouldn't have been able to quit as my Watcher. You just proved…again, that I can't trust you anymore."

_RONA: __And isn't Faith a slayer, too?_

_KENNEDY (through her bloody mouth): __Maybe we need a vote... to see who wants Faith to have a turn in charge._

"Yeah, good idea," Buffy snarked. "It doesn't even have to be a vote, because I know how it will turn out. Despite the fact that Faith just got out of prison and has never shouldered the duty of Slayer by herself, you'll pick her. I doubt she even really wants to be the leader, right?"

Stunned at her sister-Slayer's attitude the past few minutes, it took Faith a couple seconds to stutter out, "R-Right."

"Unfortunately, her brand of Slayer – while it can be useful at times – isn't good for leadership. She's more of a lone wolf type," Buffy explained. The first time the mutiny went all the way through her leaving the house, she learned that Faith wasn't really trying to get rid of her, so she wasn't willing to tear into her like the others. "If you put the mantle of leader on her, it will end in disaster. It isn't her fault; it's yours, and I can't watch you do that to her."

_DAWN (walking over to Buffy): __Then you can't stay here. Buffy, I love you, but you were right. We have to be together on this. You can't be a part of it. So I need you to leave. I'm sorry, but this is my house, too._

Buffy just laughed again, despite the heartbreaking way Dawn said her words. "You think so, huh? I seem to recall that it was my name on the deed. Mom left it to **me**, not you. She wanted you out of Sunnydale as soon as you graduated high school, so she left you a nice trust fund for college. You're even worse than Xander. I fucking died for you! Not the world, for _you_! I thought you were growing out of your brat phase, but turns out I was wrong."

Facing the group again, she stood tall and said, "You want to stay here in this house, you have to accept me as the leader, otherwise…there's the door. Good luck surviving without me _or_ my weapons," she added, remembering that she had to leave without weapons after dark in most of the loops where she was kicked out.

* * *

><p><strong>D'Hoffryn's realm<strong>

As soon as she finished telling them to leave, she popped back to D'Hoffryn's side.

"Feel better?" he asked.

Buffy shrugged. "Mostly. I would have liked punching a few more people, but the venting was good too. If this goes on much longer, I may have to repeat this kind of loop again."

"Anytime," D'Hoffryn offered. "Especially if you promise to hit Anyanka the next time. Just a nice backhand would please me so much."

* * *

><p>AN: Sure hope somebody takes me up on the offer to write their own loop. Let me know you're doing it and I'll post a link to your story so others who are reading this story can find it. Only caveat is that it can't be anti-Buffy.


	3. Go to Disneyland

**Go to Disneyland**

Challenge: so we can have some humorous loops as well – or really dark if that's your choice. **Open to all authors!** They don't have to lead into another loop either. They can also be crossovers if you so desire.

Timeline: any of the later loops in 'Hellmouth Day' (guessing at least past the 50th one).

Warning: only if Disneyland scares you.

A/N: This is another goofy loop.

Thanks to my betas: none.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Disneyland is owned by some corporation or something that isn't me. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Dialogue from buffyworld. com.

* * *

><p><strong>D'Hoffryn's realm<strong>

"I have a little treat for you on this loop," D'Hoffryn said with a mischievous grin. Normally he wouldn't be nice to a Slayer, but during the last loop, she smacked Anyanka around verbally _and_ physically, so he was in a giving mood. "You'll know it when you hear it."

"Will this be the end of the loops?" Buffy asked hopefully. If she counted her time spent in loops, she was probably at least a year older by now. Of course, with all the loops that went back far enough, she probably 'celebrated' her birthday about a dozen times or more.

"Can't make any promises," he replied, knowing it wouldn't end just yet.

* * *

><p><strong>LA<strong>

Feeling his empathic powers returning, Lorne had a weird flash and told Willow, "Listen, raspberry cheesecake, I need you to have your golden leader call me immediately." That was confusing to him; normally he didn't get information until he met the person involved. But he was so happy to get his abilities back that he passed off the anomaly as psychic backlog leaking out.

* * *

><p><strong>Summers house<strong>

After she sang for Lorne over the phone, Buffy listened to his advice, growing more incredulous every minute he kept talking. "I'm sorry; you want me to do _what_?" Then she remembered D'Hoffryn's comments before the loop started. "Never mind…I'm willing to give anything a shot at this point."

As she feared, the others looked at her like she was crazy when she relayed the plan to them.

"Do you really believe now is the best time to take a vacation?" Giles demanded, doing his customary eyeglass cleaning when he was frustrated, embarrassed or otherwise upset.

"Hey, I'm just telling you what Angel's guy said. Apparently he has some kind of supernatural ability to give advice," Buffy replied defensively. She was _sooo_ gonna kill D'Hoffryn when she got back to his realm this time for making her look completely cracked.

"Normally I'd tell Deadboy and his buddies to take a hike, but a little road trip right now sounds pretty good," Xander piped up.

A lot of the Potentials nodded their approval as well. Anything to get out of the cycle of death in this town for a little while.

As they drove down the highway to 'the happiest place on Earth', the band of beleaguered fighters didn't realize that the First's minions were chasing them as well. Bringers, a couple Turok Han and Caleb all raced to catch the 'dirty whores' and complete their god's plans.

* * *

><p><strong>Disneyland<strong>

**A couple days later…**

Buffy and the others watched in fascination as the minions of evil attempted to fight off Disneyland's influence. It was almost as if the amusement park was sentient or something. Like an anti-Hellmouth?

Less than a week after they followed Lorne's advice, they read a newspaper blurb, announcing a new attraction at Disneyland:

_A now for some more grown-up excitement, __**Transylvania Terror**__ has evil, disfigured men with machetes, hideous vampires, and a misogynistic fake priest to terrorize you as you try to cross the moors of Transylvania into safety. But don't worry too much…it's only make believe!_

Smiling at the others, Buffy commented, "Well, I guess that's one way of stopping the First we wouldn't have thought about in a million years. Can't do anything without its minions to fight for it. Of course, I don't think I'll ever look at Disneyland the same way again."

* * *

><p>AN: I left the battle between the minions and Disneyland deliberately vague so you can decide if it was because the goodness of Disneyland was too much for them, or because the evilness there overpowered their loyalty to the First.

A/N2: Sure hope somebody takes me up on the offer to write their own loop. Let me know you're doing it and I'll post a link to your story so others who are reading this story can find it. Only caveat is that it can't be anti-Buffy.


End file.
